Recently I’ve met up with people from Uni who I don’t speak to that often and have treated me like rubbish in the past. People may ask why I bothered even giving them the time of day. I like to think im a forgiving person and someone that can rise above. This may be viewed as weak, but it is who I am. So although I was apprehensive I met up with them anyway.
I would like to think this last year has changed me. I’ve learnt to stand on my own two feet and if I’m not happy having the courage to make changes.
So I met up with one friend which ended up a disaster, but I kind of treated it as closure. I have finally accepted that I have gave them a chance and they were no different.
Last weekend I also met up with another friend. My mum doesn’t approve of this person because she treats me like crap. All I could think of was the Justin Bieber song ‘Love Yourself’ haha. So I waited a year before seeing her then she ended up also treating me like crap. After I drove all that way. Although she did apologise it was a backhanded apology.
I’ve finally got my closure. I’m not gonna worry about what they think of me and how they feel because let’s be honest they don’t care. Some people would have dropped these people along time ago. It may have taken me a bit longer, but I think it’s a lesson learned and it’s time to move on.
Now I’m on to bigger and better things although it may have taken me a long time to realise having very few friends is better than having friends who treat you worse than strangers.
People tell you don’t do it, you know what happened last time, you should trust your gut. Yet I did…
I think when someone does something to upset me I give them plenty of chances as I’m a forgiving person, but I’ll always have my guard up with them.
So after moving back from uni I didn’t really keep in contact with some of my uni friends as they were partly why I was so unhappy. However one of my friends kept pushing me to go and see him, so after nearly a year of not speaking I thought yes I’ll meet up with them. People change right?
Oh how I was wrong…
People don’t change that much I knew they would act exactly how they did previously my gut told me to not bother. Yet I still went? And what happened the night was ruined by the same girl who ruined my time at uni for two years.
So why did I bother. Some people will never change no matter how much you convince yourself it will be different. It never is some people are just bitter and nasty and that’s okay but I know for sure their won’t be a next time this time. And I vow to listen to my instincts.
Happy Sunday from someone with a painful head and a heavy heart!
So it’s been a while! I didn’t really have anything to add so I thought I would just do a general life update. This week marks a year since I started this blog crazyyyy. Now I’m about to finish Uni (STRESS) trying to plan my summer and organise life in-between. These are all good things it’s just everything is happening at once.
On a brighter note I quit my job! Whoop Whoop 3 weeks and counting till I no longer have to make coffee’s or serve food I hate to rude customers so that’s exciting I just wish it was sooner…
Fun fact: I recently read that the happiest people make their bed in the morning, I looked at my bed (unmade) and decided to start making it because I’m not unhappy?! It lasted a day… I’m just too lazy or in too much of a rush to care enough. Note to self: Must try harder to not look unhappy.
So anyway I booked to go Scotland the week after Uni is finished. It’s crazy that I live in the UK and have only been to Ireland (aside from England of course) so yeah, Edinburgh here we come which should be fun!
My summer so far is looking good:
And it’s the big 21 birthday in Mexico which is crazy as I am in no position to be and adult. I haven’t actually thought about my birthday much, life just seems to be flying by…
In September I will have to get a real job and be a fully fledged adult (no idea what in) in the mean time I plan to live out my summer as a reckless youth because isn’t that what students do?
So anyway hope everyone had a good Easter this week I am back to eating healthy after eating my body weight in Easter eggs! PEACE OUT XOX
I feel like I plan so much. I like to know where I’m going and at what time. I like to know when things have to be done and how. People sometimes call me the Boff or the SWOT at Uni, because I tend to start my assignments early. Who doesn’t want to do well right? okay that sounded a little nerdish I also plan ahead because I never want to be one of those deadline day types of people (within reason) so I like to be organised. BUT then there are times that i am completely reckless and live on the wild side…
Reckless – heedless of danger or the consequences of ones actions…
Perhaps its something to do with my zodiac sign? which is cancer. I can plan so much, but sometimes I do things that even I’m like woahhh. This is when I know i’m at my most happiest. Because i’m not planning my diet, or my next workout, or when I have to go to work next or when i should be finishing assignments i just go and do something that actually makes me feel alive!
The other weekend my sister and one of our friends mentioned about going to a festival, the next day we booked it haha. I was at work I just transferred the £200 a now i’m going to a 5 day festival?!
Yesterday I had the most awful day at work. I still exercised, but then ate a takeaway and drank wine? It was a Tuesday night and this morning i had a presentation?
This one is a little less impulsive if you call 3 days less impulsive, but more reckless. So work has been treating me so bad recently that I was actually adding up yesterday if i could afford to quit my job yet or if i would have to wait a little longer until after Uni finished. However, my mum was like “oh just have Thursday off” as the planner and good person I am I haven’t had one day off work in the 6 and 1/2 months that i have been there (not that I’m counting or anything). My response was; “no, i’m not going to have Thursday off because I think i’m going to bunk Saturday” haha.
These little decisions or plans are the things that make me feel the most alive and happy, because they are moments right now. Although its good to plan ahead! I have so many exciting things happenings this summer it’s also important not to wish life away, by doing the little impulsive things that get us through the day a little easier…
It’s okay to have those ‘bad’ days. This weekend I didn’t have work, therefore I ate the entire fridge haha (joking…kinda). I didn’t exercise, I didn’t do any Uni work I spent Saturday and Sunday with family and friends. Drunk alcohol for three days straight and ate the same amount of chocolate as the weight of a small child.
I realised though, it’s okay. People say balance is a good thing. For me I was always adverse to balance due to the fact I’m either all in or all out. There is no in between for me.
As a result today I have woke up hungry (still didn’t eat) went to Uni, now at lunch I ate a small cheese and some cashew nuts. I get that people say oh you should eat normally even after you have had a binge. My mental attitude is not a supporter of this knowing full well I deserve not to eat. Almost 4 months into this diet ‘lifestyle’ I know I ate the food I’m now living with the consequences. The ironic thing is that last week I ate even less than that before I exercised and then ate normally and was fine. Due to my body consuming so much food at the weekend I’ve now had the opposite effect.
Was it worth it? Hell yeah Well some would argue no, today I argue no. Tomorrow when I’m back to more suitable eating I’ll probably say yes. I would never think my body could get use to so much good nutrition that having two days bad would actually leave me so bloated and heavily impacted by these changes.
In hindsight I should have ate a lot less, but isn’t that why hindsight’s a beautiful thing? Anyway tomorrow is a new day, today I am back to exercising and dieting and slowly starving and healthy living.
Hope everyone has a good Monday! One positive is I am 27 days into lent and still haven’t drunk any fizzy drinks, question though is drinking wine just as bad at this point haha…
Weight loss. It’s one of those things that plays on every one’s mind. We all want to be a little more of this and little less of that. We make the New Year’s resolutions, we promise ourselves we will start Monday. Yetevery timewe do we give uponlyto start again a month later. Anyone elserememberthis vicious cycle?
I have been in that cycle from the start of my teenage years to last year. Don’t getmewrong I had lost weight, but most of the timeIgave up. InSeptemberI began a new Uni, new job and was happy living back at home. These all contributed to me wanting to lose the stone I had gained in my second year of Uni (and more). However, I did have those plummets still until January. When I promised myself enough is enough! Yes I love to drink (who doesn’t) and yes I love to eat (I only have to say chocolate and gain a stone). However, Irealisedif I really wanted to lose the weight Icouldn’tjust keep doing these on again off again crash diets that I was doing. I had to have a plan and stick to it…
Now on month 3Ihave lost 11 pounds I took dreaded pictures (I won’t share), but Irecentlythought let’s compare and see ifthere isany change. The scales haven’t gone down asquickas I hoped, but my body shape has changed. I have recently changed diets I was originally doing the 5:2 diet where I eat 500 calories for two days and the rest I ate 800. However, as someone who struggles not eating (who doesn’t) my bodycan’talwayshandlethe lack of food. I have now decided to start the Joe Wicks shape plan where I eat 2 meals with no carbs and one meal with carbs only if I exercise that day. Last week I did 6 exercises andattendedwork and Uni haha.
Today. Ididn’teat breakfast which was bad of me… but for lunchIhad cheese, chopped carrots, tomato, cucumber and pepper. I also had some fruit and some cashew nuts. Later onI’mgoing to a pump class it’s a weight class for 45 minutes, but then I will be eating a low CalspaghettiCarbonara.
Don’t get me wrong unlessyou’re afull on lover of healthy eating and exercise. It’s not fun, butIknow I’m never going to lose weight if Idon’tmake changes and sometimes we do have to make sacrifices. I know I can eat a bad meal or eat chocolate, but I also know bysacrificingsomething the scales are going down and my body changing for the better is my reward. Being both a lover of food and someone who wants to lose weight is fine, its just about finding the balance in the right direction. Anyone else agree or have any weight lossstory’sI am a bitobsessedwith themI’mnot going to lie haha! xoxo
So right now I am currently in a lecture. I’m meant to be discussing the EU Economy for any British person post-Brexit this isn’t the most riveting topic I am actually writing this in my assignment to avoid getting caught under women and the gender pay gap (ironic). I have also made a vow to myself to stop watching so much TV and start reading more books. Therefore, yesterday I read Jay Asher – “Thirteen Reasons why” next month it will appear as a series on Netflix, but I thought I would give a review about the book which is celebrating its 10th year Anniversary of release. A little background – NO SPOILERS I promise. The book is from Hannah Baker’s perspective she has recorded 13 tapes which are sent around to 13 people who she believes have contributed to her death in one way or another the tapes get sent to the first person who hears their story and everyone else’s before passing them on to the next person exposing everyone’s part.
It made me think how our actions have implications on people’s lives no matter how big or small. One of the quotes was; “When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life” this is so true, because every action has a reaction no matter how big or small we are all implicated. In the book Clay who was an innocent party, but was still included. Everyone else was seen as having a negative impact on Hannah’s life except Clay. However, he still has to live with Hannah’s death rightly or wrongly.
Another quote that I feel strongly about is “betrayal. It’s one of the worst feelings”. I feel very strongly about loyalty and living by a moral code. However, I also don’t trust a lot of people, because I’ve learnt you’re less likely to get hurt this way, but betrayal it still hurts. Even when you expect it and know it’s going to happen it still hurts because there’s always hope. Hope that you will be wrong.
This post was a little different, but I just feel like in life we should all think about are actions a little more no matter how big or small our interactions are, they can affect someone’s life more than we will ever know.
Here’s the book I highly recommend, let me know your thoughts!