A Brand New Year

Wow 2017… it was an amazing year! I went into it with the outlook that it was going to be a good year no matter what and it was actually better than I imagined! This year I’m going in with the same vision.

I didn’t really make a list of things I wanted to achieve it was more things I promised myself I would do last year. This year I’ve decided to focus on myself more (not in an it’s all about me way) okay maybe in that way…

We spend so much time worrying about others, or achieving this or doing that. In the end we forget to think about ourselves. This for me is usually when things start to becoming overwhelming. So I’ve made a list of things I want to achieve. I won’t bore you with all of them, but here are a few;

1.Eat more vegetarian meals

2. Stop drinking on such a regular basis

3. Start running (I was going to say again, but positive outlook and all that haha)

4. Spend more time doing things rather than captioning them on social media

I’ve also recently invested in Fearne Cottons ‘Happy journal’ for those of you who don’t know her she is a tv presenter, author and radio presenter. She went through some tough times and wrote a book about it.

This journal is a way of focusing on the positives. I’m usually a quitter when it comes to dedicating time for things so as I have to write in it everyday I think it will be a good challenge.

This next year I already have a few things planned. However, as I’m going to focus more on my own personal goals I’m sure there will be more planned throughout the new year.

I hope everyone had an amazing New Year. My head is currently saying otherwise, but onwards and upwards…


Abandoning My Blog 2.0 And Making The Most Out Of Life

So I had a blog post ready about complaining about my problems and how I should be more grateful and that I’m going through a bad patch. I decided to scrap that.

I know I’m not where I want to be, but I know where I will be. This is literally just a stop along the way. But in hindsight this year has been amazing. And although I feel a little low now. It’s okay because I’m reflection I’ve had an amazing year. I promised myself this year would be good. And it’s has surpassed my expectations. Next year I plan to top that and not think oh it will be okay compared to last year because isn’t that what life’s about?! Not settling for less than we deserve.

So I finally started reading again during lunch at my crap job. I’ve started reading; “This is going to hurt’ by Adam. For any greys anatomy fans this is basically the British version based on the NHS. But it’s a true story about one mans life as a junior doctor. Although some of the stuff is dreadful the guy is so witty and funny you can’t help, but laugh at his experience.

It’s makes me feel more positive about life and ready to take on the day because at the end of the day I will be okay I’ve been through worse.

In hindsight this year has been incredible this is just a blip.

Also little update the south of England finally got snow! It’s a Christmas miracle.

I Hate My Job

So I was sitting with my sister and she said I feel like you just need to admit you hate it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I tried to justify it, I tried to convince her (and myself) that noooo it’s not so bad. But the truth I hate it. 9-5 is not for me. I would rather be dead that do this for the next 30 years. I read this post the other day; to the girl who lost her ambition to travel. People asked what you wanted to do in 5 years time she stated she wanted to be in this country or that country. They replied no as a job?

I’ve never related to anything so much haha. I go to work I come home I get drunk on the weekends and then repeat the same action as I have for the last 8 weeks. And I know my whole life isn’t revolved around a job, but when you work 9-5 5 days a week. Let’s get real here it kind of is!

My sister has finally figured out what she wants to do. Me on the other hand I still want to see the world and then figure it out. I’m 21 not 50. I think I definitely have post-graduate blues. Don’t get me wrong I hated university, but when people asked you what you wanted to do it was okay not to know because when your a student your still a child. Now that I have a full time job, with a degree that answer doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.

Anyway here’s to figuring out my next step in traveling whilst trying not to quit my job every single day!

I don’t really have a purpose for this photo except for I took it haha.

This is basically a photo of my life haha I joke!

Turning The Page 

Hey, it’s been a while!

Recently I’ve met up with people from Uni who I don’t speak to that often and have treated me like rubbish in the past. People may ask why I bothered even giving them the time of day. I like to think im a forgiving person and someone that can rise above. This may be viewed as weak, but it is who I am. So although I was apprehensive I met up with them anyway.
I would like to think this last year has changed me. I’ve learnt to stand on my own two feet and if I’m not happy having the courage to make changes.

So I met up with one friend which ended up a disaster, but I kind of treated it as closure. I have finally accepted that I have gave them a chance and they were no different.

Last weekend I also met up with another friend. My mum doesn’t approve of this person because she treats me like crap. All I could think of was the Justin Bieber song ‘Love Yourself’ haha. So I waited a year before seeing her then she ended up also treating me like crap. After I drove all that way. Although she did apologise it was a backhanded apology. 

I’ve finally got my closure. I’m not gonna worry about what they think of me and how they feel because let’s be honest they don’t care. Some people would have dropped these people along time ago. It may have taken me a bit longer, but I think it’s a lesson learned and it’s time to move on. 

Now I’m on to bigger and better things although it may have taken me a long time to realise having very few friends is better than having friends who treat you worse than strangers. 

Hope everyone has a good day! 

Flicking The Switch

This week I’ve found a new sense of positivity. In life, in my education and in fitness. It’s almost like I’ve flicked the switch. I get so worried about the future that I forget to live in the present. We are all desperate for more, but what if this is it. You are in control of your own life if this is it then you have to go and fight for better. Rather than complain, I know no one else is gonna change my life for me so I better start.

This week I’m back to healthy eating I finally wore my new trainers to the gym (it’s the little things) and have started eating better. Along with drinking my green tea (strong advocate go try!) Small changes will eventually amount to big  differences with time and patience. I figure if I spend all my time complaining why not spend my time changing ? 

Anyone else started to change this week? 

Today’s quote of the day;

I feel like I’ve moved on from this and ready to handle what life throws at me!

Stop Worrying And Start Living

I have always lived my life worrying, worrying what will happen if I do/don’t do something, worrying if I made different choices I wouldn’t be in the position I am. Worrying about worrying.

Until recently when I had a major breakdown I realised I couldn’t even be happy about the prospect of a job because in my eyes the likely hood of actually getting it won’t pay off. It’s crazy to think this your whole life can be lived with fear and every action you take is calculated to ensure something may/may not happen.

I realised even if you predetermine every step and every choice you make nothing’s going to go to plan because when does life ever? But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m not a religious person, but I like to think God has a plan and I’m exactly where I should be right now.

So I vow to stop worrying about things that could happen and just go with it. Just enjoy life, I spend so much worrying that it’s time to start living.

Today’s quote of the day;

So I decided to change-up my blog rather than have one positive. Life should just be a positive and one thing I loveeeee is music, discovering new artists and just everything about music in general so I decided to choose my fav song lyrics on this particular day instead.
Today’s lyrics of the day;

“I’m a comeback kid. Don’t know why bad things happened, but they did. I don’t think I deserve the hurt I get, but I’m made for it. It’s not the end” ~ The Band Perry – Comeback Kid

To My Miserable Self

So it’s been a while… I would like to think I’m a positive person who looks at set backs and challenges and embraces them as much as possible. God knows I’ve had enough of them! But sometimes there isn’t a positive and sometimes like recently I can’t see a happy future insight.

Yesterday I broke down a cried in the middle of the town centre (not the best place) I told my mum how unhappy I was. She knows I’ve been miserable part of me thinks I accept it more than she does. I told her I just have nothing which I still believe 24 hours on is true. And yes I have my health blah blah blah. But other than that I just feel exhausted in unhappiness. My mum is someone who is always positive she believes theirs a meaning behind everything she said in the middle of my breakdown you have so much going for you. I just don’t see it.

I’ve been struggling to look for a job, struggling to find trustworthy friends, struggling to lose weight. I just feel like I have the weight of the world on top of me and finally I’ve cracked. I’m not sure there is a solution or a way out right now.

I don’t want to be a negative person and like my other posts have said there is always positive in every day, but sometimes their isn’t a positive there is just no point?

Right now all I can do is be miserable and hope that sometime soon things change. I know this is the worst possible advice for myself and others, but it’s all I’ve got right now. Any one feel to share their wisdom with me feel free but, proceed with caution… I joke haha