So today it’s officially a year since Graduating from University. A year. A Whole damn 365 days. I would like to confirm a few things;
-Post Graduation Blues is REAL
-No I do not have my life together a year later
– And finally nope that degree haven’t felt like I have required it once in this last year
Although there is a bittersweet feeling. I had such high expectations of my job this time a year ago. Still in that shit show of a job. I thought things would be great after University I was so done with my degree. Right now I question what was the damn rush?!
However, a year on. I do feel like I am finally making waves. Graduation blues still linger. For example the question of what I am actually going to do with my life is still an everyday concern. I am finally trying to get somewhere. OR ANYWHERE. Away from this job. It’s a working progress and by progress I mean I will be quitting my job no matter what at the end of November. The degree, it may not be useful right now, but jobs on my TEFL course require it. So there! Finally found an advantage.
This was more just a summary of how a year after graduation life carry’s on. I am currently very tired after thinking it was acceptable to go to a gig on a work night. On that note I’m going to bed! ✌🏽
I read this Instagram post the other day and I tell you what something has resonated with me so bad in a long time.
I think it’s so important to focus on yourself. However, like many people I tend to forget, or worry about others first. Although from the outside I drink loads of water and try to be as healthy as possible – I say that with hesitation everyone’s allowed a few cocktails every once in a while right?! (Awaits response)
However, there’s always these things, wether their thoughts or regrets or issues unresolved. That slowly creep into your mind. You don’t even have to be thinking about them and they can just appear. It’s easy to feel regretful. I’ve done that a lot lately. I regret I didn’t start saving earlier, regret that I didn’t start trying to lose weight quicker. So many regrets in life with family. But then I stop and thought in the end I’ll be okay. A work colleague has recently been diagnosed with leukaemia. I’m someone that hasn’t experienced a lot of death, I know I’m so fortunate at the age of 22. He is constantly in my mind when I think about life decisions. You just never know how much time you have got on this earth. It has never been more obvious than it is right now to seize every moment stop living with regret, because as long as we do our best. In the end we will always be okay.
So tomorrow. It’s a year. One whole ass 365 days since I was employed in a job that I thought held so much prospects. Little did I know I would hate it after 6 weeks, cry after 3 months and promise that if I am in this job in a years time my mother should hand in my resignation for me. My sister made the joke shall I write the letter for you tonight. Oh the irony after this last week at work is unreal. I now have a date for when I’m leaving okay it’s 9 weeks away, but then I am quitting this job for real.
It’s just hit me that damn you can truly get sucked into a life that you don’t want. We truly don’t know how to seize every moment if we are too afraid to take that leap of faith. I have given myself until the end of the year. Then I will jump off the cliff and hope to god I fly either way I will be excuse French getting out of this shit hole!
Life is a journey and although I will finally quit this job in 9 weeks time making the joke to hand in my resignation if I’m their in a year doesn’t sit all that well with the live every moment saying.
So for now tomorrow will be a bittersweet moment, but I will relish in the fact that this is just a part of my journey not the end game! Peace and love!
It’s so easy to get tied down to a job, a relationship or even a friendship and question whether you deserve more. We live in a world where if you aren’t Instagram famous or have a million subscribers you aren’t really anything? This cultures makes you question is this job all I deserve. Are the people in my life who make me feel bad about myself all that I am worth?
Recently I had a situation at work – everyone knows how much I hate my job. But I actually wanted to learn something new (even though I’m leaving – date unconfirmed) but I am leaving! I was briefly speaking to my manager about it and she basically flat out refused to let me. Because she doesn’t want to learn it I’m not allowed.
I thought about it on a long reflective walk (okay it was a day I couldn’t be bothered to actually exercise) and thought I am worthy. I am worth more than this job, I know my job in and out and am worth more than being stuck in a place where I don’t belong and aren’t respected enough to grow.
I think it’s important for everyone to know their worth. And never second guess yourself because of someone else’s opinion. It’s such a cheesy like, but it’s so true you are your longest commitment so you should never doubt how you feel. On that note it’s time to celebrate my sisters birthday. (I was actually sitting at work when I wrote this our internet and phone service is down) thank god for technology! Peace and love xx
Do you ever feel like your weighed down by something. It’s like a force that feels like a tonne of bricks and you just can’t seem to shake it. For a long time I’ve felt like that this year. I’ve let a job I hate consume me, I’ve let my feelings overwhelm me and I’ve let family stuff effect me.
Today I got home from work, I was the first person home for the first time in a while. I did the washing up, got the washing in and starting making dinner – call me a housewife in the making! No one still wasn’t home. But it wasn’t until I stopped and thought I would of done these jobs anyway, but their would have always been a hint of dread or a heaviness about them. Today it literally feels like I’m floating – no I’m not high haha. I have felt like this all week. I haven’t let work consume me, we give a lot of bad news about stock in my job and usually get shouted at like it’s my faulty in response. Recently I’ve just gave the bad news and let it go. Even if the customer shouts or moans. It’s a job it isn’t my whole life.
I think we can all be so worried about every second of everyday that we forget to just breathe and live one step at a time. I hope everyone has a good weekend!
So this week me, my sister and my mum went to Cornwall. This is about a 6 hour drive from our hometown. To say the weather was tragic would be and understatement. Typical the whole of this British summer has been so hot our grass is basically brown then we go away for a weekend in England. PLOT TWIST it’s shitting down with rain. It’s good to spend time away from home and in a different area. I recommend anyone to do it even if it’s is a couple of hours away from where you live it’s so good to getaway. Even if it’s testing times in a campsite pouring with rain!
So after our weekend away we visited our grandparents. I truly love them and am so grateful they are still alive. We are having BBQ which i cooked the inner chef came out in me LOL. I truly think we should love life to the fullest. Although in a couple of weeks I have been in my job a year. I know I can look back thinking I now have a plan and this isn’t my future! Hope everyone has a good day!
Recently I have thought a lot about making changes. For the past 3 weeks I have been doing a little experiment. The rules are simple; Only use social media from Friday evening until midnight on Sunday. All other times throughout the week social media isn’t allowed. I have done this ever since I came back from the festival and I have to say I am so much better for it.
This week has been filled with a lot of sadness. I have been doing a lot of reflecting and a lot of thinking after receiving some awful news about a fellow work colleague. It has truly taught me to emabrace life to the fullest and live with no regrets as we never know how much time we have.
This news and with the addition of my social media cleanse i feel like I have changed. I get so much more done. I don’t think “oh I’ll post that later” or “oh let’s stalk that famous persons amazing life”. We are all so trapped into the lifestyle of people’s social media when in reality the times they post are they truly happy or just putting on a show?
Anyway on a lighter note I am going camping in Cornwall for the first time since I was kid this week. In a tent this time which should be interesting and also a little daunting. British weather during bank holidays isn’t known to be great… wish me luck. Peace and love xx