Turning The Page 

Hey, it’s been a while!

Recently I’ve met up with people from Uni who I don’t speak to that often and have treated me like rubbish in the past. People may ask why I bothered even giving them the time of day. I like to think im a forgiving person and someone that can rise above. This may be viewed as weak, but it is who I am. So although I was apprehensive I met up with them anyway.
I would like to think this last year has changed me. I’ve learnt to stand on my own two feet and if I’m not happy having the courage to make changes.

So I met up with one friend which ended up a disaster, but I kind of treated it as closure. I have finally accepted that I have gave them a chance and they were no different.

Last weekend I also met up with another friend. My mum doesn’t approve of this person because she treats me like crap. All I could think of was the Justin Bieber song ‘Love Yourself’ haha. So I waited a year before seeing her then she ended up also treating me like crap. After I drove all that way. Although she did apologise it was a backhanded apology. 

I’ve finally got my closure. I’m not gonna worry about what they think of me and how they feel because let’s be honest they don’t care. Some people would have dropped these people along time ago. It may have taken me a bit longer, but I think it’s a lesson learned and it’s time to move on. 


Now I’m on to bigger and better things although it may have taken me a long time to realise having very few friends is better than having friends who treat you worse than strangers. 

Hope everyone has a good day! 

After The Binge

Although this doesn’t happen very often anymore as it’s so hard to get back on it after. I very really never have a binge weekend. But yes it does happen… 

When I say a binge weekend I don’t mean a glass of wine or a piece of chocolate I mean 3 days non-stop drinking alcohol, eating everything in sight and not exercising. I even went one step further and had the dreaded McDonalds which I probably haven’t had in like over 4 months and then Monday hits you.

Today I got up went on the scales which is probably the worst things to do and jumped back off before my final number hit because I knew it was high. I then exercised with bruised knees and painful swollen feet. No it was not fun, no I probably didn’t give it my best but I did it.

I did a HIIT session and am now laying on my bed. 

I know why I don’t do it as often, because one as you may have seen from my post yesterday; https://courageouslyjustliving.wordpress.com/2017/05/14/making-the-same-mistakes/ it’s not always fun. And two because it undone all the effort and hard work I had put in the week before. It also makes it so much harder to not eat carbs and resist eating everything in sight because your body gets used to a certain levels of food. It also makes my skin very bad! Next weekend Im going to Scotland knowing I will be drinking but ensuring it won’t be a ‘binge’ weekend because I’m only human right? 

So I came up with a list of reasons why binge weekends whether it be chocolate or alcohol or in my case both are not necessarily worth it;

1. It makes healthy eating so much harder when Monday comes around

2. It makes your skin terrible and in my case UDI’s (Unidentified Drunkard Injuries)

3. One night might be fun but a whole weekend can actually turn out to be a disaster

4. Wasting so much money 

5. Looking at the scale on Monday with no hope what so ever

6. Drinking and fuelling your body on alcohol is actually really bad and can leave you dehydrated for days 

7. Not everything has to revolve around food or drink socialising shouldn’t be an excuse

8. Losing weight won’t come any easier 

9. The pain in your feet isn’t enjoyable from wearing those heels and attempting to dance like Shakira

10. Most of the time you regret it anyway 

So I need to make a mental log of these feelings, my mum used to say if you could put the feeling of a hangover in a bottle to remember we wouldn’t bother drinking at all. So here I am back to healthy eating early Monday morning attempting to seize the day…

Making The Same Mistakes

People tell you don’t do it, you know what happened last time, you should trust your gut. Yet I did…

I think when someone does something to upset me I give them plenty of chances as I’m a forgiving person, but I’ll always have my guard up with them.

So after moving back from uni I didn’t really keep in contact with some of my uni friends as they were partly why I was so unhappy. However one of my friends kept pushing me to go and see him, so after nearly a year of not speaking I thought yes I’ll meet up with them. People change right?

Oh how I was wrong…

People don’t change that much I knew they would act exactly how they did previously my gut told me to not bother. Yet I still went? And what happened the night was ruined by the same girl who ruined my time at uni for two years.

So why did I bother. Some people will never change no matter how much you convince yourself it will be different. It never is some people are just bitter and nasty and that’s okay but I know for sure their won’t be a next time this time. And I vow to listen to my instincts. 


Happy Sunday from someone with a painful head and a heavy heart!

Summer Bliss…

So it’s been a while! I didn’t really have anything to add so I thought I would just do a general life update. This week marks a year since I started this blog crazyyyy. Now I’m about to finish Uni (STRESS) trying to plan my summer and organise life in-between. These are all good things it’s just everything is happening at once.

On a brighter note I quit my job! Whoop Whoop 3 weeks and counting till I no longer have to make coffee’s or serve food I hate to rude customers so that’s exciting I just wish it was sooner…

Fun fact: I recently read that the happiest people make their bed in the morning, I looked at my bed (unmade) and decided to start making it because I’m not unhappy?! It lasted a day… I’m just too lazy or in too much of a rush to care enough. Note to self: Must try harder to not look unhappy.

So anyway I booked to go Scotland the week after Uni is finished. It’s crazy that I live in the UK and have only been to Ireland (aside from England of course) so yeah, Edinburgh here we come which should be fun!

My summer so far is looking good:

-Scotland
-Mexico
-Latitude Festival
-Greece
-Italy

And it’s the big 21 birthday in Mexico which is crazy as I am in no position to be and adult. I haven’t actually thought about my birthday much, life just seems to be flying by…

In September I will have to get a real job and be a fully fledged adult (no idea what in) in the mean time I plan to live out my summer as a reckless youth because isn’t that what students do?

So anyway hope everyone had a good Easter this week I am back to eating healthy after eating my body weight in Easter eggs! PEACE OUT XOX

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No motivational quote this week. I’m letting my self down so here’s a photo I took for my Uni work of a dull day at home..

 

It’s Good To Be Reckless Sometimes..

I feel like I plan so much. I like to know where I’m going and at what time. I like to know when things have to be done and how. People sometimes call me the Boff or the SWOT at Uni, because I tend to start my assignments early. Who doesn’t want to do well right? okay that sounded a little nerdish  I also plan ahead because I never want to be one of those deadline day types of people (within reason) so I like to be organised. BUT then there are times that i am completely reckless and live on the wild side…

Reckless – heedless of danger or the consequences of ones actions…

Perhaps its something to do with my zodiac sign? which is cancer. I can plan so much, but sometimes I do things that even I’m like woahhh. This is when I know i’m at my most happiest. Because i’m not planning my diet, or my next workout, or when I have to go to work next or when i should be finishing assignments i just go and do something that actually makes me feel alive!

The other weekend my sister and one of our friends mentioned about going to a festival, the next day we booked it haha. I was at work I just transferred the £200 a now i’m going to a 5 day festival?!
Yesterday I had the most awful day at work. I still exercised, but then ate a takeaway and drank wine? It was a Tuesday night and this morning i had a presentation?

This one is a little less impulsive if you call 3 days less impulsive, but more reckless. So work has been treating me so bad recently that I was actually adding up yesterday if i could afford to quit my job yet or if i would have to wait a little longer until after Uni finished. However, my mum was like “oh just have Thursday off” as the planner and good person I am I haven’t had one day off work in the 6 and 1/2 months that i have been there (not that I’m counting or anything). My response was; “no, i’m not going to have Thursday off because I think i’m going to bunk Saturday” haha.

These little decisions or plans are the things that make me feel the most alive and happy, because they are moments right now. Although its good to plan ahead! I have so many exciting things happenings this summer it’s also important not to wish life away, by doing the little impulsive things that get us through the day a little easier…

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I don’t have a reason for this picture I just liked the quote as usual it was saved in my phone…

 

 

 

 

Those Monday Regrets…

It’s okay to have those ‘bad’ days. This weekend I didn’t have work, therefore I ate the entire fridge haha (joking…kinda). I didn’t exercise, I didn’t do any Uni work I spent Saturday and Sunday with family and friends. Drunk alcohol for three days straight and ate the same amount of chocolate as the weight of a small child.

I realised though, it’s okay. People say balance is a good thing. For me I was always adverse to balance due to the fact I’m either all in or all out. There is no in between for me.

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Because I’m a sucker for a quote I actually have this as my wallpaper no judgement haha

As a result today I have woke up hungry (still didn’t eat) went to Uni, now at lunch I ate a small cheese and some cashew nuts. I get that people say oh you should eat normally even after you have had a binge. My mental attitude is not a supporter of this knowing full well I deserve not to eat. Almost 4 months into this diet ‘lifestyle’ I know I ate the food I’m now living with the consequences. The ironic thing is that last week I ate even less than that before I exercised and then ate normally and was fine. Due to my body consuming so much food at the weekend I’ve now had the opposite effect.

Was it worth it? Hell yeah Well some would argue no, today I argue no. Tomorrow when I’m back to more suitable eating I’ll probably say yes. I would never think my body could get use to so much good nutrition that having two days bad would actually leave me so bloated and heavily impacted by these changes.

In hindsight I should have ate a lot less, but isn’t that why hindsight’s a beautiful thing? Anyway tomorrow is a new day, today I am back to exercising and dieting and slowly starving and healthy living.

Hope everyone has a good Monday! One positive is I am 27 days into lent and still haven’t drunk any fizzy drinks, question though is drinking wine just as bad at this point haha…

The Scale Of Life

We are constantly putting ourselves and others on a pedestal. We scale ourselves against each other in order to see who performs better whether this be in life, in competition or in the way we look. I am no stranger to this scale. In order to lose weight and get fit I put myself on a scale everyday through weighting myself, through counting the calories I eat, through looking at fitness pictures and being envious of people’s bodies.

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My breakfast being no exception to counting calories!

However, some would argue this is the society we live in today. Although I would like to think I don’t judge others I am no stranger to comparing myself. I have recently learnt that not everything can be measured! I took photos at the start of this year to compare my weight loss and recently took them again. I had lost weight significantly which the scale didn’t actually reflect. Don’t get me wrong the scale going down is a very satisfying feeling for myself, but I know now I’m more than just a scale.IMG_2454

I read this quote the other day about the cost of ambition. It couldn’t be truer, but how do we measure ambitions success? Usually by a number on a scale from where we are to where we want to be. Personally I think we should measure it by our performance on our way to success, because determination to get to the place we want to be is more satisfying on reflection than the number we get as a result.

Although hitting the 1 stone number this week was a very happy feeling, even my Fitbit informed me I had lost 6kg so maybe happiness can be measured in numbers sometimes…