Coming Up For Fresh Air

Do you ever feel like your weighed down by something. It’s like a force that feels like a tonne of bricks and you just can’t seem to shake it. For a long time I’ve felt like that this year. I’ve let a job I hate consume me, I’ve let my feelings overwhelm me and I’ve let family stuff effect me.

Today I got home from work, I was the first person home for the first time in a while. I did the washing up, got the washing in and starting making dinner – call me a housewife in the making! No one still wasn’t home. But it wasn’t until I stopped and thought I would of done these jobs anyway, but their would have always been a hint of dread or a heaviness about them. Today it literally feels like I’m floating – no I’m not high haha. I have felt like this all week. I haven’t let work consume me, we give a lot of bad news about stock in my job and usually get shouted at like it’s my faulty in response. Recently I’ve just gave the bad news and let it go. Even if the customer shouts or moans. It’s a job it isn’t my whole life.

I think we can all be so worried about every second of everyday that we forget to just breathe and live one step at a time. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Peace and love ✌🏽

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Living In The Now

Living in the Now

It’s so hard to live for the now when you hate life. We always think of better times than living in the moment. I have recently tried to live in the now more. By cutting out social media and thinking about what I do with my day more. It’s hard to accept the thing we think we cannot change. It’s even harder to accept the thing we can change and think we still can be happy. I for one have tried to accept the things I cannot change more and live for the moment. Recently I have taken big steps in life. Including going to see my grandparents unexpectedly who I haven’t seen in over a year. Although they weren’t at home. It won’t stop me trying to see them tomorrow. Life is what you make of it. Peace and love ✌🏽

Taking A Leap Of Faith

So right now I am on a beach in Greece! Finally sun with sea. Don’t get me wrong British summer weather this year has been one for the books! But their is nothing like sitting on a beach in a foreign country where no one knows you and just chilling by the sea!

Being in the sun and not having to do anything also makes me reflect. This time last year I was heading I the exact same country for 3 weeks after coming back from Mexico. A year on and I look at where I am.

-Graduated from University

-In a 9-5 full time job earning money

-planning for the future

When I look at my life on a day to day basis. Yes I hate my job and graduating University feels like a life time ago. However, in hindsight a year has gone by and I am starting to plan my future. I’ve never wanted to achieve my dreams as much as I do when I am sitting doing nothing thinking about them? It’s mad, but time away really puts things into perspective.

Sometimes life can be a rollercoaster and like many people I can get caught up in all the negativity. But when I finally start to think about it I’ve still come so far. Maybe it’s just being away who knows! Anyway back to the sun xx

21 Things I have Learnt in 21 Years

So tomorrow I turn 22. Yes I probably will caption some lyrics to that Taylor Swift song on my IG I can only do it once right?! However, it got me thinking of all the things I have learnt, accepted and how I have grown in the last 21 years and even in the last year. I came up with a list of 21 things I have learnt, some are just advice others are things I plan to do in the near future;

1. You’re whole life doesn’t have to be figured out.

I finished University this time last year and am I any closer to figuring out what I want to do. Nope!

2. It’s okay to want to quit your job and be reckless sometimes

I feel like now I am in my twenties all these life decisions should be happening. When in reality all I want to do sometimes is quit the job, by the ticket and get the hell out of here! One day I will do this I promise..

3. Changing careers a million times won’t destroy your job prospects – who cares if you did 8 months in a coffee shop?!

4. Never be too afraid to do the thing you truly want to do because it isn’t the easy route or you just don’t know how to start

Advice from my mum she said she never wants me or my sister to look back with regret at the choices we make

5. Your happiness is just as important as others

6. Self love is so important to your health 

7. It’s okay to stop talking to people who no longer have a positive effect on your life.

I have learnt this more in the last 6 months. Even if someone hasn’t done anything intentionally cruel, the way they act and their attitude towards you can actually be hurtful without you realising for a long time. I learnt that the hard way…

8. Feeling like you are ready to fly the nest doesn’t make you a bad persons (You may have seen my other blog post When It’s Time To Fly The Nest )

9. Counting calories doesn’t have to be an everyday thing drink the wine, eat the pizza and know that no matter what you weigh you will still have an AMAZING holiday!

10. Planning your life won’t make it any easier! The script will always change

11. Live in the now it’s all we have

12. It’s okay for some chapters to end without anything said at all. Whether this be with parents, friends or loved ones. Sometimes it does just end.

13. Don’t regret anything that makes you who you are.

14. Forgive yourself you’re only human

15. It’s okay to not have a close friends right now maybe it just takes times

16. Apply for the damn TEFL course get out of this job and move country!

17. Never not do anything out of fear or past failures

18. Not every change is a failure and it doesn’t have to define us

19. Be who you are, not who the world expects you to be

20. Someday you will look back on your journey and know the moments you were low or the job you hated were all just learning curves in life!

21. In a year from now I hope things are different I hope I have got out of this job, applied and completed the TEFL course. Be in some new part of the world. And most of all be happy with the choices I’ve made and the life I am living!

I urge everyone to write a list! It actually has made me feel more motivated than ever. I hope everyone has a good day I’ll be drinking wine in the sun, celebrating being another year older. Also watching England in the World Cup it has to be played on my birthday doesn’t it!

Post-Grad blues are real

So who knew post- grad blues was actually a thing? The year after graduation people can feel at their worse. I for one sure got it. You have so many expectations and excitement about graduating and becoming a “real adult” that when it finally comes around and then your working a dead beat job thinking wtf am I doing with my life?!

It’s easy to get lost in a job you hate and this can create a downward spiral for the first 6 months of this job I had been living my life out of my overdraft, drinking every weekend and going out at every opportunity sounding familiar? Basically living like a university student all over again.

Something then clicked on me and I realised I’m 21 turning 22 in two weeks where the hell has that time gone? Anyway… I realised I don’t want to be stuck in this dead beat job with no prosepects for improvement and colleagues that treat me no better than a piece of shit crap on the floor. I realised I’m too damn good to be working in a job where I am in sales I’ve never wanted to work in sales! So I started to plan and am starting to save. Admittedly I still go out and drink and am not always saving to the best of my abilities, but I’m young dumb and broke? So that’s okay I guess. HOWEVER I am saving, I have a plan.

Originally I said if I’m still in this job in September hand in my notice… well September isn’t far away I think I will still be in this job. But by January I plan to quit this job that is my true cut off point. And I know you shouldn’t wish your life away and I have read all the self health books under the sun. So I am making the most of this summer and continue to hope that graduation blues will pass life will improve and this is just a stop along the way. I also found out I got a first class honours this time a year ago who knew life could be so cruel to remind me on Facebook haha.

Anyway still trying to remain strong! Have a good weekend!

Declining Job Offers And 21st Century Dating

Recently life has been a time! I had an interview for a new job, the company were how could one say it.. in a shit storm? The company had a lot of office politics that was supposedly improving. I found out yesterday I had got the job, 4 weeks after applying. I had a think and I just knew i wasn’t ecstatic. I spoke to my mum about it as you do with all big life decisions talk to the parents they still know best even when you’re 21 and actually classed as an adult now. She said; you always have a gut instinct you know when something isn’t right. And it’s true surprisingly I do. I knew deep down I needed to stick uni out, I knew this job was never going to be a forever job and I knew this job interview didn’t make me feel any more confident. So today I rejected a job. Yes it was slightly more money, but I knew if I stick to the plan, I would be out of this job come January. And I know you shouldn’t wish your life away, but as the quote I kept saying wrong i didn’t want to go out of the frying pan into the fryer… i thinks that’s right their was something about a saucepan when I kept saying it out loud. So yeah. That’s a shocker.

Next 21st century dating I am on tinder and bumble. I have conformed to this new era we supposable live in. I don’t like it, don’t approve of it and still have high hopes I will meet someone the traditional way in a bar or out and about. BUT until such time comes I will be swiping right until I find my true match… yeah pretty tragic. Anyone in a relationship stay in it! Their are dark times ahead.

So until my life falls apart again thanks for reading!

When You Learn To Let Go

Life as a uni student was hard especially my second year. I had some issues. I read a book recently (another one) I’m just full of wisdom lately. It said you need to let go of the past and accept it for what it was. And it’s true I don’t think I had for a long time I had let it burden my present whenever I spoke about it. I also read this quote that was very apt…

So now I’m back at this university visiting friends as they finish their finals year. You may have seen my previous post about going back to my old uni Start living in the present it felt different then. This time it feels different

I’m not letting the girl walk all over me. I stand with conviction and have told them about the dreams I’m pursuing with strength. Admittedly I am currently awake sitting on their sofa at 8am. This is because 1. I get up early to go to work everyday how’s a girl meant to change that pattern and 2. It is for once really hot in England so I have to embrace this weather! I just feel different about everything it’s like yes that was a part of my life and this is the right now, but the past isn’t hurting me anymore. I’m also not letting the people. The Kesha song has popped in my head! But it’s true I have learned to let it go…