Today I went back to the place I was born. This is the first time I’ve visited there since I was two years old when we left to live in a new town. You know that Miranda Lambert song “The house that built me” we were literally in the car outside the house I lived in for the first two years of my life. Creepy I KNOW RIGHT.
It was weird, my mum had recently visited their and had asked us if we would like to go back. So after 19 years we thought why the hell not?!
It was odd.. we walked through the town and we went to the world’s best pub in Suffolk. It got me thinking. The life we could have had there. It is definitely more country life than where we live now, the house is different to where we live, the location is more rural and there is a lot of trees. It was everything I would have wanted. But would we have been happy?
I think about my life now. The town I live in, the people I know and the people I used to know. As well as the School and University I went to. Would it have been different, would things that went wrong/right have been different? I guess I will never know.
I get the song now. “They say you can’t go home again”. Life fell the way it did for a reason. Do I wish some things were different?? Of course, but I know I can change them especially this next year.
This last year has been amazing and looking back hasn’t made me regret one thing.
Fun fact – I can now complete a Rubik’s cube in 3 minutes and 31 seconds what did you do this Christmas break? Haha
So 9-5 I’ve been at it a good 5 weeks in that time I’ve graduated. Woo! But I’ve discovered some things;
1. I do not want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. One morning I googled Dolly Parsons 9-5 song in the madness and have never realised the lyrics are so true…
“Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin” – you can tell that to my bank account
“They let you dream just to watch ’em shatter. You’re just a step on the boss-man’s ladder” – basically you are pretty much a nobody
Okay I’ll stop with the lyrics now but it’s so true.
2. I thought my plans of travelling would change turns out it’s gave me more of a desire to do it
I’m 21 not old! If this is what I’ve signed up for, for the rest of my life it’s a no from me! I even said to my mum if I’m still here in two years literally write my letter of resignation.
So they were just some of the things I learnt in this 9-5 life. I recently also reunited with an old friend. She had messaged me when the earthquake hit in kos and although I said I’d message her when I’m back by the time I had finally got my life together it was October.
I thought take the risk she can only ignore me or just say no? So I did it. I don’t know why I was ever so afraid most of the time people are in the exact same position as you. We just never realise it. It turned out we had such an amazing night we agreed to keep in contact more regularly and to this day we still have. Our friendship is 7 years old but we haven’t seen each other in 2 and half years in between the chatting and of course the drinking it was amazing how much we had shared in common including tough times.
I would recommend everyone who thinks about a friend or someone they haven’t spoken to in a while just message them! A lot of the time they are probably building up the courage to message you!
Anyway as I’ve turned into an old lady who literally parties at the weekend and goes to bed early in the week I will say goodnight!
I always hate the feeling of being trapped it’s like being stuck somewhere you don’t belong. Home was always the saviour whenever I hated uni I knew I could always come home. Whenever I went to my dad’s house on the weekend and hated sitting their knowing I was always a second class citizen I knew I only had to wait till 4pm Sunday evening to come home. However, what happens when you’re finally content with life and home isn’t where you want to be…
This summer I’ve seen so much and although I’ve had a desire to travel I’ve always been hesitant because of uni experiences and life in general I never thought I could do it.
But now things are different…
I hate being stuck at home I’m counting down the days till I’m in Italy. I’ve come up with a plan so that I can travel and see more of the world after I’ve come back from Italy. Things take time, but for once I’ve got a plan. And although it pains me to say it although I do love home. Me, my sister and my mum are literally the three musketeers we are so close and I’m so grateful for that. This in no way is meant to sound ungrateful, but I finally understand the meaning of flying the nest.
I’m ready to move on. Ready to see the world. I’ve never had such a burning desire to get out of this town where everything’s been the same for a very long time. Most people here seem to be stuck with no desire to move on.
Today I watched ‘Everything Everything’ it’s a good film I would deffo recommend. It’s basically about this girl who is trapped in her house due to having a severe illness. I won’t ruin the ending, but let’s just say being stuck in her house is kind of how I feel right now.
When I was sitting on the beach in Greece or travelling on a boat I never felt so free. Now that this is my reality being stuck at home part of me feels like I’m waiting for the next adventure when surely life should just be one big adventure?
Hey, it’s been a while!
Recently I’ve met up with people from Uni who I don’t speak to that often and have treated me like rubbish in the past. People may ask why I bothered even giving them the time of day. I like to think im a forgiving person and someone that can rise above. This may be viewed as weak, but it is who I am. So although I was apprehensive I met up with them anyway.
I would like to think this last year has changed me. I’ve learnt to stand on my own two feet and if I’m not happy having the courage to make changes.
So I met up with one friend which ended up a disaster, but I kind of treated it as closure. I have finally accepted that I have gave them a chance and they were no different.
Last weekend I also met up with another friend. My mum doesn’t approve of this person because she treats me like crap. All I could think of was the Justin Bieber song ‘Love Yourself’ haha. So I waited a year before seeing her then she ended up also treating me like crap. After I drove all that way. Although she did apologise it was a backhanded apology.
I’ve finally got my closure. I’m not gonna worry about what they think of me and how they feel because let’s be honest they don’t care. Some people would have dropped these people along time ago. It may have taken me a bit longer, but I think it’s a lesson learned and it’s time to move on.
Now I’m on to bigger and better things although it may have taken me a long time to realise having very few friends is better than having friends who treat you worse than strangers.
Hope everyone has a good day!
We can all spend too much time drifting through life waiting for the next job or waiting to go back to Education. I feel like I’ve been doing it for the last 2 years. Living in the comfort zone, but is it really that comfortable?
I’m not someone who likes to be bold and brave. Once you know me I will be my loud and proud self, but only a few people really know me. Instead I spend most of my time sitting and waiting. This time last year I spent my 3 months of summer doing basically nothing I ended up gaining a stone which was not cool.
This year, this month, even this day I’ve decided its time to change...
I’ve been living life in the comfort zone for so long I forgot what it’s like to do something brave and adventurous! Isn’t that what life’s about at the end of the day? In the last week I’ve stopped worrying about the comfort zone and decided to take a leap of faith. Life never went my way in the comfort zone any way so what have I got to lose? Sooooo here was my week. To some people these may seem like little things, to me they are proving to myself that i can find myself again and truly be happy.
- So i got my car last week after not driving for 2 years since I passed my test i got in the car and drove! i have a Fitbit and its safe to say my heart rate has been in the fat burning zone every time i get in the car! But i haven’t crashed yet (touch wood) and the thought of driving alone was the most intimidating thing ever. However, i am doing it! I can’t park for shit, but I’ve got the whole driving thing down to a T in a week.
- I went to a job agency on Monday… I now have temp work tomorrow as well as a job interview for full-time work before I go back to Uni. I am the most anxious person so when it comes to things like speaking to people i don’t know i clam up. This time its different. I’m ready, i just want to get the job. I feel more confident now than i have in a long time and honestly believe i can do this! Side note; I have been doing the odd jobs around the house a little good karma can help can’t it 😉 Any advice for someone who hasn’t been to a job interview in a good few years would be greatly appreciated!
- Exercise – I make out that i hate it, but since getting my Fitbit i cant lie i have been secretly a little obsessed. In doing so it actually makes me feel better and has counter acted my nerves for 1 and 2 slightly…
This whole week has been an eye opener for me. I feel better in myself and honestly feel I can do so much more. Whether I get the job or I don’t I know I tried and that’s all anyone can do.
Today’s quote of the day;
Today’s positive of the day;
I didn’t stall my car for the first time today! Things are looking up eh?!
Buddha once said; “What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.”
Today this couldn’t be anymore true. This morning I woke up realising I need to get my shit together and start revising for my exams properly. At 9 o’clock my sister sent me a text with the words vibes?. She had found us a holiday, and not just an okay holiday and all inclusive amazing place (large amounts of alcohol) only 1 room left for the dates we wanted to go because it’s so damn popular holiday. We had a lot of debate shall we book it waiting for her to confirm the time off work this went on for two hours then we just thought lets just book it. She said it’s been a tough year for you and I’ve never not went on holiday I’m not planing on that changing now. I just thought you’re right it has been a tough year forget about the money lets just do it. So we booked it…
For the rest of the day I was smiling I revised for 4 hours, I then worked out smiling. I mean who does that?
Post workout I admit I was tired lol!
Now sitting here the sun has just gone in British weather is slightly ruining my tan, but I truly do think its true what you think you do become. I was washing up another boring chore and I just thought why can’t I be this happy all the time. I admit yes sometimes life is tough, but thinking about the positives truly did change my mood for the whole day. I haven’t felt like this for a while which is kind of sad, but makes me think life’s not all bad. Although there are tough days I need to remember days like today make them easier to overcome.
Today’s quote of the day;
Photo credit – Instagram – Attics
Today’s positive of the day;
I’ve realised life isn’t all bad and there is still things to smile about.