I feel like I plan so much. I like to know where I’m going and at what time. I like to know when things have to be done and how. People sometimes call me the Boff or the SWOT at Uni, because I tend to start my assignments early. Who doesn’t want to do well right? okay that sounded a little nerdish I also plan ahead because I never want to be one of those deadline day types of people (within reason) so I like to be organised. BUT then there are times that i am completely reckless and live on the wild side…
Reckless – heedless of danger or the consequences of ones actions…
Perhaps its something to do with my zodiac sign? which is cancer. I can plan so much, but sometimes I do things that even I’m like woahhh. This is when I know i’m at my most happiest. Because i’m not planning my diet, or my next workout, or when I have to go to work next or when i should be finishing assignments i just go and do something that actually makes me feel alive!
The other weekend my sister and one of our friends mentioned about going to a festival, the next day we booked it haha. I was at work I just transferred the £200 a now i’m going to a 5 day festival?!
Yesterday I had the most awful day at work. I still exercised, but then ate a takeaway and drank wine? It was a Tuesday night and this morning i had a presentation?
This one is a little less impulsive if you call 3 days less impulsive, but more reckless. So work has been treating me so bad recently that I was actually adding up yesterday if i could afford to quit my job yet or if i would have to wait a little longer until after Uni finished. However, my mum was like “oh just have Thursday off” as the planner and good person I am I haven’t had one day off work in the 6 and 1/2 months that i have been there (not that I’m counting or anything). My response was; “no, i’m not going to have Thursday off because I think i’m going to bunk Saturday” haha.
These little decisions or plans are the things that make me feel the most alive and happy, because they are moments right now. Although its good to plan ahead! I have so many exciting things happenings this summer it’s also important not to wish life away, by doing the little impulsive things that get us through the day a little easier…
It’s okay to have those ‘bad’ days. This weekend I didn’t have work, therefore I ate the entire fridge haha (joking…kinda). I didn’t exercise, I didn’t do any Uni work I spent Saturday and Sunday with family and friends. Drunk alcohol for three days straight and ate the same amount of chocolate as the weight of a small child.
I realised though, it’s okay. People say balance is a good thing. For me I was always adverse to balance due to the fact I’m either all in or all out. There is no in between for me.
As a result today I have woke up hungry (still didn’t eat) went to Uni, now at lunch I ate a small cheese and some cashew nuts. I get that people say oh you should eat normally even after you have had a binge. My mental attitude is not a supporter of this knowing full well I deserve not to eat. Almost 4 months into this diet ‘lifestyle’ I know I ate the food I’m now living with the consequences. The ironic thing is that last week I ate even less than that before I exercised and then ate normally and was fine. Due to my body consuming so much food at the weekend I’ve now had the opposite effect.
Was it worth it? Hell yeah Well some would argue no, today I argue no. Tomorrow when I’m back to more suitable eating I’ll probably say yes. I would never think my body could get use to so much good nutrition that having two days bad would actually leave me so bloated and heavily impacted by these changes.
In hindsight I should have ate a lot less, but isn’t that why hindsight’s a beautiful thing? Anyway tomorrow is a new day, today I am back to exercising and dieting and slowly starving and healthy living.
Hope everyone has a good Monday! One positive is I am 27 days into lent and still haven’t drunk any fizzy drinks, question though is drinking wine just as bad at this point haha…
We are constantly putting ourselves and others on a pedestal. We scale ourselves against each other in order to see who performs better whether this be in life, in competition or in the way we look. I am no stranger to this scale. In order to lose weight and get fit I put myself on a scale everyday through weighting myself, through counting the calories I eat, through looking at fitness pictures and being envious of people’s bodies.
However, some would argue this is the society we live in today. Although I would like to think I don’t judge others I am no stranger to comparing myself. I have recently learnt that not everything can be measured! I took photos at the start of this year to compare my weight loss and recently took them again. I had lost weight significantly which the scale didn’t actually reflect. Don’t get me wrong the scale going down is a very satisfying feeling for myself, but I know now I’m more than just a scale.
I read this quote the other day about the cost of ambition. It couldn’t be truer, but how do we measure ambitions success? Usually by a number on a scale from where we are to where we want to be. Personally I think we should measure it by our performance on our way to success, because determination to get to the place we want to be is more satisfying on reflection than the number we get as a result.
Although hitting the 1 stone number this week was a very happy feeling, even my Fitbit informed me I had lost 6kg so maybe happiness can be measured in numbers sometimes…
Weight loss. It’s one of those things that plays on every one’s mind. We all want to be a little more of this and little less of that. We make the New Year’s resolutions, we promise ourselves we will start Monday. Yetevery timewe do we give uponlyto start again a month later. Anyone elserememberthis vicious cycle?
I have been in that cycle from the start of my teenage years to last year. Don’t getmewrong I had lost weight, but most of the timeIgave up. InSeptemberI began a new Uni, new job and was happy living back at home. These all contributed to me wanting to lose the stone I had gained in my second year of Uni (and more). However, I did have those plummets still until January. When I promised myself enough is enough! Yes I love to drink (who doesn’t) and yes I love to eat (I only have to say chocolate and gain a stone). However, Irealisedif I really wanted to lose the weight Icouldn’tjust keep doing these on again off again crash diets that I was doing. I had to have a plan and stick to it…
Now on month 3Ihave lost 11 pounds I took dreaded pictures (I won’t share), but Irecentlythought let’s compare and see ifthere isany change. The scales haven’t gone down asquickas I hoped, but my body shape has changed. I have recently changed diets I was originally doing the 5:2 diet where I eat 500 calories for two days and the rest I ate 800. However, as someone who struggles not eating (who doesn’t) my bodycan’talwayshandlethe lack of food. I have now decided to start the Joe Wicks shape plan where I eat 2 meals with no carbs and one meal with carbs only if I exercise that day. Last week I did 6 exercises andattendedwork and Uni haha.
Today. Ididn’teat breakfast which was bad of me… but for lunchIhad cheese, chopped carrots, tomato, cucumber and pepper. I also had some fruit and some cashew nuts. Later onI’mgoing to a pump class it’s a weight class for 45 minutes, but then I will be eating a low CalspaghettiCarbonara.
Don’t get me wrong unlessyou’re afull on lover of healthy eating and exercise. It’s not fun, butIknow I’m never going to lose weight if Idon’tmake changes and sometimes we do have to make sacrifices. I know I can eat a bad meal or eat chocolate, but I also know bysacrificingsomething the scales are going down and my body changing for the better is my reward. Being both a lover of food and someone who wants to lose weight is fine, its just about finding the balance in the right direction. Anyone else agree or have any weight lossstory’sI am a bitobsessedwith themI’mnot going to lie haha! xoxo
So right now I am currently in a lecture. I’m meant to be discussing the EU Economy for any British person post-Brexit this isn’t the most riveting topic I am actually writing this in my assignment to avoid getting caught under women and the gender pay gap (ironic). I have also made a vow to myself to stop watching so much TV and start reading more books. Therefore, yesterday I read Jay Asher – “Thirteen Reasons why” next month it will appear as a series on Netflix, but I thought I would give a review about the book which is celebrating its 10th year Anniversary of release. A little background – NO SPOILERS I promise. The book is from Hannah Baker’s perspective she has recorded 13 tapes which are sent around to 13 people who she believes have contributed to her death in one way or another the tapes get sent to the first person who hears their story and everyone else’s before passing them on to the next person exposing everyone’s part.
It made me think how our actions have implications on people’s lives no matter how big or small. One of the quotes was; “When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life” this is so true, because every action has a reaction no matter how big or small we are all implicated. In the book Clay who was an innocent party, but was still included. Everyone else was seen as having a negative impact on Hannah’s life except Clay. However, he still has to live with Hannah’s death rightly or wrongly.
Another quote that I feel strongly about is “betrayal. It’s one of the worst feelings”. I feel very strongly about loyalty and living by a moral code. However, I also don’t trust a lot of people, because I’ve learnt you’re less likely to get hurt this way, but betrayal it still hurts. Even when you expect it and know it’s going to happen it still hurts because there’s always hope. Hope that you will be wrong.
This post was a little different, but I just feel like in life we should all think about are actions a little more no matter how big or small our interactions are, they can affect someone’s life more than we will ever know.
Here’s the book I highly recommend, let me know your thoughts!
Fear. It is the invisible object telling us we can’t do something. It’s the thing that pushes us back every time we think about moving forward. It’s the voice inside us that will forever be our darkest demons.
“Keep your eyes on the stars. And your feet on the ground” – Theodore Roosevelt
This year I have started to conquer my demons in my first two years of University I thought going out and getting drunk because I was young was fun. However, the next day after gaining trillions in weight and feeling emotional and tired with a major hangover I promised myself that would be the last time. This time last year after promising i wouldn’t quit University, i pushed through my fears and decided to finish out the year away from home. I then came up with a plan rather than doing what i was ‘supposed to do’ which was; find a placement year job, then spend another year away from home next year which is everyone expectation of me. I pushed through…
I admitted to myself which was the hardest thing I wasn’t happy and was done getting drunk every weekend just to drown my sorrows in unhappiness. I found a University at home, found a part-time job at a coffee shop (not the best job) but it will do whilst I finish out University. The ironic things is i don’t even like coffee, but i can make your flat white, latte or an Americano a million times a day haha.
Now my life is so different and never how I planned. I am in my final semester ever of University, I’m getting good grades, i’m happy… I always felt the mellow sadness i felt last year was just how life is meant to be? For every person that ever feels that way trust me it isn’t!
I’m also getting rid of the weight, going to the gym regularly this year I’m already 8 pounds down (WOOOO!). Don’t get me wrong going out and getting drunk with my friends is still fun, but I don’t do it because i should do anymore i do it because i want too.
After this semester I plan to spend my summer travelling and then who knows… But it doesn’t scare me anymore because life is too short to let fear rule us.
We can wish for something to happen, we can strive for success, but what happens when you have done everything possible to do your best… Hope
Being an optimist is something I struggle with. However, I always put 110% into everything even if I do struggle I work hard. When something doesn’t pay off I question could I have done more, but in the back of my mind I know even if I hated every second of it I would have done my best. Today I received my University results back and it turns out I have done really well. I was shocked partly because I was sitting at work and wasn’t mentally prepared to receive them and partly because I didn’t expect to do so well. But then I thought I’ve been hoping for the last month I would do well even though I couldn’t change the outcome.
I feel like I have high expectations for myself, sometimes to high. Failure isn’t an option in my eyes. I am also very stubborn so that doesn’t help. However when you hope and plead that you don’t fail and then you succeed it is something to be proud of. We should all be proud of the little thing a bit more because in reality they are the big things we often forget about.