Abandoning My Blog and Reuniting With Old Friends

So 9-5 I’ve been at it a good 5 weeks in that time I’ve graduated. Woo! But I’ve discovered some things;

1. I do not want to work 9-5 for the rest of my life. One morning I googled Dolly Parsons 9-5 song in the madness and have never realised the lyrics are so true…

“Barely gettin’ by, it’s all takin’ and no givin” – you can tell that to my bank account

“They let you dream just to watch ’em shatter. You’re just a step on the boss-man’s ladder” – basically you are pretty much a nobody

Okay I’ll stop with the lyrics now but it’s so true.

2. I thought my plans of travelling would change turns out it’s gave me more of a desire to do it

I’m 21 not old! If this is what I’ve signed up for, for the rest of my life it’s a no from me! I even said to my mum if I’m still here in two years literally write my letter of resignation.

So they were just some of the things I learnt in this 9-5 life. I recently also reunited with an old friend. She had messaged me when the earthquake hit in kos and although I said I’d message her when I’m back by the time I had finally got my life together it was October.

I thought take the risk she can only ignore me or just say no? So I did it. I don’t know why I was ever so afraid most of the time people are in the exact same position as you. We just never realise it. It turned out we had such an amazing night we agreed to keep in contact more regularly and to this day we still have. Our friendship is 7 years old but we haven’t seen each other in 2 and half years in between the chatting and of course the drinking it was amazing how much we had shared in common including tough times. 

I would recommend everyone who thinks about a friend or someone they haven’t spoken to in a while just message them! A lot of the time they are probably building up the courage to message you!

Anyway as I’ve turned into an old lady who literally parties at the weekend and goes to bed early in the week I will say goodnight!


After The Binge

Although this doesn’t happen very often anymore as it’s so hard to get back on it after. I very really never have a binge weekend. But yes it does happen… 

When I say a binge weekend I don’t mean a glass of wine or a piece of chocolate I mean 3 days non-stop drinking alcohol, eating everything in sight and not exercising. I even went one step further and had the dreaded McDonalds which I probably haven’t had in like over 4 months and then Monday hits you.

Today I got up went on the scales which is probably the worst things to do and jumped back off before my final number hit because I knew it was high. I then exercised with bruised knees and painful swollen feet. No it was not fun, no I probably didn’t give it my best but I did it.

I did a HIIT session and am now laying on my bed. 

I know why I don’t do it as often, because one as you may have seen from my post yesterday; https://courageouslyjustliving.wordpress.com/2017/05/14/making-the-same-mistakes/ it’s not always fun. And two because it undone all the effort and hard work I had put in the week before. It also makes it so much harder to not eat carbs and resist eating everything in sight because your body gets used to a certain levels of food. It also makes my skin very bad! Next weekend Im going to Scotland knowing I will be drinking but ensuring it won’t be a ‘binge’ weekend because I’m only human right? 

So I came up with a list of reasons why binge weekends whether it be chocolate or alcohol or in my case both are not necessarily worth it;

1. It makes healthy eating so much harder when Monday comes around

2. It makes your skin terrible and in my case UDI’s (Unidentified Drunkard Injuries)

3. One night might be fun but a whole weekend can actually turn out to be a disaster

4. Wasting so much money 

5. Looking at the scale on Monday with no hope what so ever

6. Drinking and fuelling your body on alcohol is actually really bad and can leave you dehydrated for days 

7. Not everything has to revolve around food or drink socialising shouldn’t be an excuse

8. Losing weight won’t come any easier 

9. The pain in your feet isn’t enjoyable from wearing those heels and attempting to dance like Shakira

10. Most of the time you regret it anyway 

So I need to make a mental log of these feelings, my mum used to say if you could put the feeling of a hangover in a bottle to remember we wouldn’t bother drinking at all. So here I am back to healthy eating early Monday morning attempting to seize the day…

The Real Monday Motivation

Today I made the usual Monday commitment to eat healthy. As usual i had consumed well too much food and alcohol over the weekend and after had got on the scales only to say fuck this to quickly get back off.

After feeling under the weather I decided to go down the healthy tea route this morning, I recommend Twinings defence immune boosts it contains; ginger, vitamins and lots of earthly roots (I read it off the box) but as a promoter of green tea I thought I would give it a go. It actually did make me feel better probably psychological haha but I like the idea of my body having a bit of purifying after all the crap I’ve been consuming.

So after uni I was planning on going to Legs, Bum and Tums tonight. However at 4 my sister decided to bail what a dragggg! After eating healthy all day I thought let’s just workout from home I’ve got the weights and the time let’s just do this. Sometimes we can be our own motivation.

So I planned out my workout incorporating stuff from the gym class and from doing HIIT (high intensity interval training) in the past. I promised myself I would do it for half hour gym classes run for 45 minutes so I figured why the hell not!

Here was my plan to show I didn’t lie haha. Afterwards and even during I felt so much better all day I’ve been researching recipes and coming up with new ideas. Today I didn’t need anyone’s motivation but my own. So now sitting here this evening after consuming less than 800 calories all day I am ready for tomorrow’s workout and motivated enough to truly lose some weight before Christmas!

I hope everyone’s else’s Monday was just as motivational! 

Whilst Drinking Green Tea and Sitting In The Dark…


It’s the thing that drived me to carry on with University when I couldn’t stop crying this time last year. 

It’s the thing that told me I didn’t need that extra chocolate bar even though I really wanted it.

It’s the thing that told me to stop drinking alcohol and go out and fix my problems because throwing up wasn’t the answer anymore.

So now as I sit here waiting to go to a gym class starving hungry because I ate so much this weekend that my body isn’t use to the fact that I have eaten next to nothing patiently waiting for 7:30 so that I can finally eat my dinner.

Motivation is my biggest drive, but it’s also that annoying voice in my head telling me I can do better than I am. Sometimes I listen sometimes I don’t. 

Next month is December and the end of 2016! What the hell?! This time in 5 months I would have finished uni, these next five months determine what result I get. They also determine what the hell I will be doing with my life and also whether I would have lost this extra stone and half I’ve been carrying around…

The future is the one thing that scares me, but my motivation to get to where I want to be to is what keeps me going. As we leave 2016 and we start the “new year new me” quotes I have decided this year it not a new me it’s the better me the one that doesn’t always think the worse, the one who tries harder, the one whose more determind and the one whose not afraid of going after the dreams that are patiently waiting in my head. Through motivation I will get there….

Today’s quote of the day;

For the gym motivation…

Life At 20

The future fuckkkkk.

I’m currently in my final year of University actually I’m currently sitting on the sofa surrounded by uni books and papers if we want to get technical and currently have no plan. I have no goal or vision. The irony of it is that i’m currently completing a module based on my career plan which is one big lie which is proving to be a challenge. I’m doing a business degree I ask myself why i picked that everyday? 3 years later I’m almost about to finish the first semester. I know everything i don’t want to do;

  • I don’t want to be stuck in a 9-5 job
  • I don’t want to have regrets about the choices I make in the next year
  • I don’t want to be stuck in one place for the rest of my life

They ask you to make life choices at 20 when I still party too hard, drink too much and worry to much to make a choice that will determine my future. I’m more exciting about the fact I’ve finally booked another gig to go to than consider what I am going to do after i leave university. The thought of looking for a graduate job is not appealing after completing psychometric tests in the past and failing every single one i accept i am not highly intelligent and will definitely not be putting myself through that trauma again. So what is my plan. I have no clue. I’ve changed my mind several times I’m like a child playing dress-up. I guess we all have to grow up at some point…..

On another note damnnnn that election. As a Brit in post brexit I genuinely thought Clinton had it! Her speech about little girls was so true. Yesterday was Equal Pay Day women still earn 18% less than men meaning from now until the end of the year every woman in a full-time position in the UK will be working for free now that is completely messed up.

Today’s quote of the day;


Flicking The Switch

This week I’ve found a new sense of positivity. In life, in my education and in fitness. It’s almost like I’ve flicked the switch. I get so worried about the future that I forget to live in the present. We are all desperate for more, but what if this is it. You are in control of your own life if this is it then you have to go and fight for better. Rather than complain, I know no one else is gonna change my life for me so I better start.

This week I’m back to healthy eating I finally wore my new trainers to the gym (it’s the little things) and have started eating better. Along with drinking my green tea (strong advocate go try!) Small changes will eventually amount to big  differences with time and patience. I figure if I spend all my time complaining why not spend my time changing ? 

Anyone else started to change this week? 

Today’s quote of the day;

I feel like I’ve moved on from this and ready to handle what life throws at me!

Surviving Another First

I’m someone who hates starting something new. Not just oh I’m a bit nervous, the thought literally terrifies me. If its possible for me not to do something i will happily not do it just for the pure fact i don’t like being alone with strangers, i don’t like having to talk to new people and i don’t like going to new places i don’t know alone. God knows how i survived two years away at Uni oh yeah i didn’t i came home.

So anyway recently I’ve had so much new stuff happen to me. Trust me my anxiety levels went through the damn roof! But with a lot of nervous deep thinking and a little complaining i have survived all 3 new tasks successfully. So i thought i would share my 3 new things and how i survived my first day as the shy, awkward and slightly terrified person that i am..

  1. A New Class – So my doctor referred me to physiotherapist and after my initial appointment the physio-woman said I had to join this 4 week class to strengthen my knee. My first thought bloody brilliant now I have too go join a class with a bunch of old people, but i went.
    My way of surviving a new class was to get their early as I didn’t have a clue where i was going. I was their first typical me not wanting to be late. Eventually someone else came along and sat next to me. I made it through the class which wasnt actually that bad and am now going onto week 3.
  2. A New Job – Starting a new job I was absolutely dreading it. Firstly because it was in a coffee shop which i had no bloody clue about and secondly i didn’t have a uniform so i constantly worried someone would say “oi staff only”
    Once again i ensured i got their early i did as i was told to do and signed in went over to the coffee shop. Now on week 4 i can make all the coffee’s and have actually settled in quite well…
  3. A New Uni – So after so much stress with transferring back to my home university. Today i had my very first day, knowing that yo couldnt park on campus i decided to walk (one social anxiety was enough for today let alone parking). I actually prepared my uni bag last night, after checking multiple times where my first lecture was at 9:30 this morning I cant still remember now (room 101) i checked so many times haha. I stood outside awkwardly being the first one their againnnnn the lecturer came before anyone else did. The lecture was actually alright. I will admit i walked to the Town and did a Cady Heron from Mean Girls and sat alone. Before you ask no i did not sit on the loo i sat on a bench. Other than that today actually went well

Having new things starting for someone like me is stressful as i get more worked up before starting that i try to talk myself out of it. However after conquering 3 new things recently my anxiety may finally be improving. I’ll probably still always be awkward though, but god loves a trier lol.

Purely for my amazing photography skills this was my pre-diet milkshake last week!

Today’s quote of the day;