No Longer Waiting For The Fall

I feel like I always start with “recently…” Usually because some drama occurred. This time it’s different. Things are semi-positive for once after having my major breakdown. I’ve found a job which is going alright, uni is sorted for next year and my life in general is a bit more positive. This is where I usually wait for the fall I expect something bad to happen because things are going so well. I’ve decided this time I’m no longer waiting for the fall. Things always go wrong in life, not everything will go my way it would be nice if it did sometimes! But I guess my life was made for the chaos. 

I think no longer waiting for the full is a reflection on me changing. Accepting the good and the bad and just trying my best. Failure isn’t the end it’s a stepping stone. I’ll probably never be perfect and constantly awkward which means that embarrassing things will always occur (let today be no exception). However, it’s trying to embrace the embarassement or things that I would consider a failure and looking at them in a new way! Otherwise I know my social awkwardness will never improve and I’ll probably fall back into the sadness stage that I feel like I’ve been in for so long that I no longer want to go back to ever!

Today’s quote of the day;

I’ve realised just because things are going well you shouldn’t let people back in your life you can forgive, but don’t make a decision when your happy with life because not everyone was around for the fall.

Today’s lyrics of the day;

‘Cause we all get lost sometimes, you know? It’s how we learn and how we grow’ – Major Lazer ~ Cold Water


Stop Worrying And Start Living

I have always lived my life worrying, worrying what will happen if I do/don’t do something, worrying if I made different choices I wouldn’t be in the position I am. Worrying about worrying.

Until recently when I had a major breakdown I realised I couldn’t even be happy about the prospect of a job because in my eyes the likely hood of actually getting it won’t pay off. It’s crazy to think this your whole life can be lived with fear and every action you take is calculated to ensure something may/may not happen.

I realised even if you predetermine every step and every choice you make nothing’s going to go to plan because when does life ever? But it’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m not a religious person, but I like to think God has a plan and I’m exactly where I should be right now.

So I vow to stop worrying about things that could happen and just go with it. Just enjoy life, I spend so much worrying that it’s time to start living.

Today’s quote of the day;

So I decided to change-up my blog rather than have one positive. Life should just be a positive and one thing I loveeeee is music, discovering new artists and just everything about music in general so I decided to choose my fav song lyrics on this particular day instead.
Today’s lyrics of the day;

“I’m a comeback kid. Don’t know why bad things happened, but they did. I don’t think I deserve the hurt I get, but I’m made for it. It’s not the end” ~ The Band Perry – Comeback Kid

All You Can Do Is Try

After have a disastrous breakdown I am still job hunting. However, after talking things through about life and how unhappy I have been things have actually improved. In life i feel like I’m so worried about being excited about new opportunities because in the back on my mind i always feel like something is going to go wrong no matter what. I’ve realised that’s no way to live life. At the end of the day the only thing i can do is try. Try and improve myself, Try and find a job, and Try and change the things i’m unhappy with. The last one required me too get up and want to make a change which was harder than i initially thought.

After weeks of unhappiness (more like months) I’m finally okay. I’m not happy with where I am in life, and have regrets about the choices I’ve made. However, i’m still here still trying and that’s all I can ask of myself. At the end of the day life is never going to go perfectly, but all we can do is try our best and hope the choices we make have a positive outcome in the end. And if they don’t then oh well it’s too late now.

It’s been a while so today’s favourite quote;

Today’s positive of the day;

Well I made £40 taking my Nan and Great-Nan to their appointments. Life can’t be all bad can it?