To My Miserable Self

So it’s been a while… I would like to think I’m a positive person who looks at set backs and challenges and embraces them as much as possible. God knows I’ve had enough of them! But sometimes there isn’t a positive and sometimes like recently I can’t see a happy future insight.

Yesterday I broke down a cried in the middle of the town centre (not the best place) I told my mum how unhappy I was. She knows I’ve been miserable part of me thinks I accept it more than she does. I told her I just have nothing which I still believe 24 hours on is true. And yes I have my health blah blah blah. But other than that I just feel exhausted in unhappiness. My mum is someone who is always positive she believes theirs a meaning behind everything she said in the middle of my breakdown you have so much going for you. I just don’t see it.

I’ve been struggling to look for a job, struggling to find trustworthy friends, struggling to lose weight. I just feel like I have the weight of the world on top of me and finally I’ve cracked. I’m not sure there is a solution or a way out right now.

I don’t want to be a negative person and like my other posts have said there is always positive in every day, but sometimes their isn’t a positive there is just no point?

Right now all I can do is be miserable and hope that sometime soon things change. I know this is the worst possible advice for myself and others, but it’s all I’ve got right now. Any one feel to share their wisdom with me feel free but, proceed with caution… I joke haha

Living Life Outside Of The Comfort Zone

We can all spend too much time drifting through life waiting for the next job or waiting to go back to Education. I feel like I’ve been doing it for the last 2 years. Living in the comfort zone, but is it really that comfortable?

I’m not someone who likes to be bold and brave. Once you know me I will be my loud and proud self, but only a few people really know me. Instead I spend most of my time sitting and waiting. This time last year I spent my 3 months of summer doing basically nothing I ended up gaining a stone which was not cool.

This year, this month, even this day I’ve decided its time to change...

I’ve been living life in the comfort zone for so long I forgot what it’s like to do something brave and adventurous! Isn’t that what life’s about at the end of the day? In the last week I’ve stopped worrying about the comfort zone and decided to take a leap of faith. Life never went my way in the comfort zone any way so what have I got to lose? Sooooo here was my week. To some people these may seem like little things, to me they are proving to myself that i can find myself again and truly be happy.

  1. So i got my car last week after not driving for 2 years since I passed my test i got in the car and drove! i have a Fitbit and its safe to say my heart rate has been in the fat burning zone every time i get in the car! But i haven’t crashed yet (touch wood) and the thought of driving alone was the most intimidating thing ever. However, i am doing it! I can’t park for shit, but I’ve got the whole driving thing down to a T in a week.
  2. I went to a job agency on Monday… I now have temp work tomorrow as well as a job interview for full-time work before I go back to Uni. I am the most anxious person so when it comes to things like speaking to people i don’t know i clam up. This time its different. I’m ready, i just want to get the job. I feel more confident now than i have  in a long time and honestly believe i can do this! Side note; I have been doing the  odd jobs around the house a little good karma can help can’t it 😉 Any advice for someone who hasn’t been to a job interview in a good few years would be greatly appreciated!
  3. Exercise –  I make out that i hate it, but since getting my Fitbit i cant lie i have been secretly a little obsessed. In doing so it actually makes me feel better and has counter acted my nerves for 1 and 2 slightly…

This whole week has been an eye opener for me. I feel better in myself and honestly feel I can do so much more. Whether I get the job or I don’t I know I tried and that’s all anyone can do.

 

Today’s quote of the day;

Today’s positive of the day;

I didn’t stall my car for the first time today! Things are looking up eh?!

From The Bad To The Good

Last week I felt so negative about where I was at in my life, partly because I was doing the same thing every single day and although I was looking for a job i didn’t have much hope in finding one. I thought great is this it, is this the feeling I am going to have for the next 3 months? I discovered in that moment that the future doesn’t hold anyone’s happiness it’s about right now.  So this post is for me and anyone else to read when life isn’t going  the way we hope think about the good moments that have already occurred. For me it occurred straight after that moment which I’m not sure if it was luck or just fate.

So after feeling negative and finally admitting to myself how I had been feeling all these things occurred straight after;

I received  a phone call offering me an interview for work finally!  I then went to my Dad’s house that night to celebrate my birthday and found out he bought me a car. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I then drove my car home which is about 25 minutes away after not driving since I past my test 2 years ago. To say I was shitting it was an understatement haha can you imagine. I can confirm I did survive and did not crash.

Now this week I feel I can take on new heights, do new things, be whatever i want. I know people always say it, but I genuinely wish i could bottle up this feeling so that my future self no matter how bad things are there is always hope. I know I’m not a confident person and dread the thought of being out of my comfort zone.

However, this week I feel like a completely different person after the good things that have happened to me. I feel more determined than ever in life and I just know that what ever happens in life good or bad I’ll survive.

Today’s quote of the day;

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Today’s positive of the day;

Hopeful finding a summer job soon and finally getting off my bum and doing something!