Sometimes all I want to do is give up, give in and forget the choices I’ve made. Yet something always keeps me going. I know that no matter what I do my mum will always be proud of me so it’s not her that stops me giving up. It’s myself. I know that I would be disappointed in myself if I give in this is partly because I put pressure on myself, but also because I’m not doing this Uni degree for anyone else I’m doing it for me. No matter how much I get judged for my decisions I need to remember what I think of myself is more important that what friends or family think of the choices I’ve made. Otherwise im just living for other people and what’s the point in that because when they have stopped having an opinion on my life then I’ll just be waiting for the next person to judge me so that I can let them plan my future when in reality people come and go, but I’m the only permanent person in my life.
Recently I feel like I’m always justifying my decisions if it’s not to my housemates about why I can’t stand living with them its to friends when they moan at why I always go home all the time like it affects their life so much?! Even today I admit I’m not good at messaging people all the time and do like my own company a little too much, but when a friend asked what i’m doing later after not speaking for two weeks and I said oh I’m at home not at uni her first comment was oh for god sake why are you back again. Instantly I felt myself justifying my reasons like I need to live every second of my life by her. Then I stopped myself and thought hang on a minute I don’t speak to you everyday you aren’t a constant person in my life why am I proving something to you that I don’t even need to prove to myself. I’ve realised that I will be a lot happier if I stop living for other people’s approval and start living my life the way I want.
Todays quote of the day;
Today’s positive of the day;
Not a lot happened apart from we got new dumbbells fitness hype has taken full force in this household! Also I recommend Andra Day -Rise up it’s a really motivational song for getting through tough times I recently heard it on Greys Anatomy and now have it on repeat!